How to Talk to Your Child About Technology Usage

Draft

Getting your child their own laptop (device) is a big step for your family. For your child, it is a powerful tool they can use to meet their friends, play games, and connect to the world in general.

For parents, it can be a little stressful. The key is to start by talking with your child and keep an open dialog.

This doesn't have to be a complicated conversation. A good rule of thumb is to use the 5 W's (Where, When, What, Who, Why, and How) to guide the conversation.


WHERE
Where is a good place to use devices?

Think about the locations in your home where you might use the device and talk about where a good place might be. 

For example:

• Is it OK to use it at the dining room table, or is that not a good place because of food?
• Is it OK to use it on the floor, or is that not a good place because it might be stepped on? 

One rule of thumb is to keep screens visible. Children should not go into their rooms to "do homework". Establish a norm at your home to always use computers with the screens being visible.

When talking about where devices can be used, also consider the physical care of the device. Keeping the device away from liquids and food will help it to last longer. 

WHEN

When is a good time to use the device?

• Should children use it late at night?
• Should it be used right when they wake up?
• Can it be used before reading or homework?

This is also a good chance to bring sleep into the conversation. You can talk about how the device affects sleep and why they should not use it two hours before they go to bed.


WHAT
Talk about what the device should be used for. 

• Can the device be used for only watching videos or playing games?
• What can we create using the device?

It is important to show children that devices can be used to create amazing things that we can share. We can create art, movies, podcasts, books, anything we can think of. With that in mind, it suddenly can seem like a waste of time to always watch movies or play games.

The key is balance. How much time should you be doing for each?

WHO

Talk about who you should be collaborating with.

• Who should I be communicating with right now? This question could lead to an answer of no one.
• Who should you be communicating with online?
• Is it a good idea to let others have your passwords?

In general, social media is for ages 13+, but I have seen younger children have accounts that were most likely set up with a parent's help. This should be avoided. If it cannot be avoided, the parent should be in control of the account.

In general, children should only share passwords with parents and teachers. 

 

WHY, and HOW 
Also talk about why you are using the device and how you will use it. 

• If you are using the device to mostly consume, is it for school?
• Can you be creating something instead of consuming?

The main idea of all of this is to allow the child to have some agency in how they use the device. These questions can help you negotiate a way to use the device that works for your household. 

Even if your children are very young, conversations about the internet and technology use can happen. It can be as simple as "thinking out loud" about what you are doing and why you are doing it. While using the internet, you could say, "Right now I am searching for a restaurant near Osaka Station." Or, "I am editing our family photos from the trip we took to Tokyo."

These reminders plant the seeds for how technology can be used.

Use the school's technology agreement or the Common Sense Media agreement as a conversation starter. I will talk about the media agreement in the next post.

Credits 

Shifting Our Schools Podcast: Episode 173

Kaoshuing American School 1:1 Parent Presentation